Gosh I'm Tired

I have another blog post from a few months ago that I only just started, the title is "The Austism Thang" because I'm been thinking about that for a while. The whole "am I austisic or not" has been coming up every so often the past few years and then I read "Unmasking Autism" by Dr Devon Price (I highly recommend) and there was too much that I strongly related to so now I'm trying to go through life with the idea that I'm autistic and well that's just something that's changing my perspective on the world and me and how I interact with it. And yeah that's still a different blog post. But I tihnk this is tying into it.

Amyway, Gosh I'm Tired. Last post ya saw me trying to learn stuff, web dev and getting back into japanese and like, whatever else i typed up in that thing. Well since then I got a sound design gig that turned into me also composing music and directing a band and that was the most stress I've ever had, that show closed and I was in recovery mode for a few weeks, then I got a gig as sound engineer and operator for a play at the local profesh theatre that I used to work at so that's cool as hell and it's not stressful like that other gig but it's still taking up a lot of my time and I still have my day job so yeah, it's still hard to find the time to devote to learning web dev or do any music or anything. I can't even fit in streaming, which is something that I've been treating like a second job. That's theatre though, takes up all your evenings unfortunately.

I'm forgetting how to use git, which is how I've been updating this very webbed site. I'm a fool!

But anyway. I'm tired. I've been burnt out for the past few years and it's been pretty bad the past few months. I'm physically exhausted, I'm mentally exhausted, I can barely keep up with my domestic chores. I'm spending a lot of time resting, I find myself laying in bed wiht my eyes closed to not experience the stimulation of the world. I need it! But! That's not how I want to be! I love learning and I love creating and I love moving but I really have not been able to. We'll see what happens in the new year, when the world slows down after xmas and I don't have any gigs lined up. I'm so tired.